I have learned that what I do doesn’t define who I am … what I do, reflects who I am. I am capable of creative genius, I make mistakes, I have great days, I have bad days, but none of this takes away the fact that I am a great human being.
Self awareness is very important. I like feeling awake and aware of myself and my surroundings. This sounds silly, but so many times we walk through life breathing and going through a routine as if following a script … unaware.
I have no major regrets in life … sure there are some episodes I would do away with if I could travel in time, but for the most part my life is one I have enjoyed. I have learned exciting and sometimes profound truths along the way.
There is not one thing I would change about my teenage years. My late teens and early twenties comprise the most selfless and productive season of my life thus far. I am still reaping the fruit of a time invested in others. Some of my greatest memories involve a group of brilliant kids whom I will always treasure in my heart, la generacion JET. I learned that we are designed by God with a very specific purpose, we are equipped with very specific gifts to reach this purpose and we can only experience fulfillment while walking in that purpose. I learned the beauty of mission and commission.
My 20s were awesome! I can think of cheesy phrases like: ‘the world is my oyster’ or ‘the sky is the limit’ to summarize what this decade has meant to me. I have learned to reevaluate where I stand and accept that success has many shapes and forms. I have learned to be grateful for everything. I remember being 22, it was a special year in my life: my horizons broadened as I discovered a new continent, a new language, a new side of me. 25 brought a new sense of independence which we know as “having my own place” … this also brought a new level of responsibility called “paying my own bills” … and I survived.
I am resourceful, I am creative, I am beautiful, I am a storyteller, I am a dreamer, I make things happen, I cry, I laugh too loud, I love sunflowers. I photograph my dogs way too much. I would paint my world orange if possible. I love the ocean…I am a lousy swimmer. I have the best parents on earth, my brother will always be my baby, my sister will always be my rock. I am married and deeply in love with Garrett. I feel nostalgic about the past and excited about the future because of the wonders it will bring us.
I have understood that it is not God’s will for us to make painful mistakes. I don’t like when people say: “it was God’s will for me to lead this or that lifestyle so I could share my experience today.” I believe we were given free will and the tools to choose wisely, but we choose differently, knowingly. Because we have an insatiable curiosity, or because at some point our heart rebels … and this is human nature. We make use of our free will and venture into places not intended for us, and we are hurt, and we are broken … and we grow and we learn, and we are saved from ourselves and brought back to a place of stillness so we may hear the voice of God again. And in His infinite mercy and wisdom our pain is turned into valuable experience we can now share with others … no father wills pain upon His children.
I have learned forgiveness. I have been forgiven and I have forgiven. Forgiveness is possibly the biggest treasure and truth I have encountered in my 30 years on this earth, and the truth has set me free. Nothing weighs and damages a heart more than lack of forgiveness. Lack of forgiveness is an ugly, greenish purplish, gooey monster that takes hold of our heart and our mind, and our liver, and our gut, and our all; and unless it is expelled from the very core of our being bitterness and sickness set in. The one thing I have strived to keep pure (mistakes and all), has been my heart. This I consider to be the noblest war I can fight … the war to keep my heart free and pure so that I may love and multiply in others.
As I look into the future I think of a little greeting card my sister gave me when we were teenagers…it said: –My future is so bright, I gotta wear shades-. I believe this, and not because I am so awesome and deserve it (deserving is such a funny word) … but because of a mercy and a love I cannot put into words.
Ecclesiastes 7:14: In the day of prosperity be joyful, but in the day of adversity consider: God also hath set the one over against the other, to the end that man should find nothing after him.
My 30th year on earth will bring the best gift ever and my heart is overjoyed. My daughter, Princess Ava. I love her so much already.
I am Princess Karolita, daughter of the Most High King.